Tuesday, December 15, 2015

'Twas The Night Before Christmas, When All Through The Barracks...


Here is my 2015 take on the famous poem by Clement Clarke Moore... 



'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the Barracks, 
Not a creature was stirring, not even large ticks.
The Stockings were hung in each corner with Glee...
In Hopes that St. Nicholas would find their small Trees.

The Soliders were attempting to keep warm in their bed, 
While visions of Heavy Equipment danced 'round in their head. 
With Sir in his Uniform, and I in my ARMY Tee, 
We took to each's Quarter for a long winters Sleep.

When out on the Sand there arose such a Clatter, 
I sprang from my Cot to see what was the Matter. 
Away to the window, ready for Damage Control, 
I threw open the shade, hoping to see the North Pole.

The Moon on the flats of that dusty ol' Sand, 
Gave light to the objects of a Middle Eastern Land. 
When what to my dry, dusty eyes should appear,
But an Artillery Type Sleigh, And 8 bomb-sniffing Reindeer!

With a strong combat driver, who gave no such pause, 
I knew, in a moment, it was Captain Santa Clause!
Tough as Special Forces, 'round about they all came, 
and He shouted "HOOAH" and called them by name. 

"Now Dasher! Now Dancer! Now Prancer and Vixen!
On Comet! On Cupid! On Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the Mess Hall, and all through the Base, 
Dash on through the dust, to finish this race!"

....

He said not a word, and went straight to his Post, 
Filling each Soldier's Stocking, and preparing Pot Roast.
Then he sprang to his Sleigh, and his team took Formation, 
And away they all flew, full of Christmas Elation!

As he Drove out of sight, I heard him shout something loud, 
"Merry Christmas to the Soldiers, who make us all Proud!"



My Heart Is currently over seas. Thinking of all the Men and Women serving our Country... especially during this Holiday Season. You're all in my prayers. 


Sincerely, 
Lauren Jayne 


Sunday, December 13, 2015

#LaurenTakesOnTheWorld

Let me paint you a picture: 

I was at the grocery store last night, and a young boy was ringing up my gallon of milk and frosted flakes. Behind me, in line, came this burly, older man with a cart full of groceries. He said something to this extent,

"Oh, She's paying for mine, too." 

And without skipping a beat, I pointed a finger at the check out boy and said, with plenty of gusto,

"Don't you believe a word he says! He owes me so much money, it's not even funny." 

The look on the kid's face was priceless, because he totally believed this guy and myself were in some sort of money battle. 

Lucky for me, this gentleman behind me was the older, heavier, man-version of me and was just as quick to respond, 

"Listen, I thought I saw you wink at me. I thought that whole thing was behind us." 

To that, I threw both hands in the air, and exclaimed, 

"Perfect! What a time to make fun of my lazy eye!"

To which I pulled the microphone out of my back pocket, dropped it, and strut myself out of the grocery store. 
Just another Saturday Night in the Big City Life!

#LaurenTakesOnTheWorld