Part 5. Another Call!

Part 5

The Friend Request That Changed My Life

Alright, I just can't even wait to go on with the next part. So I had just called and harassed some poor stranger about his brother's ex wife, and was feeling pretty certain that there was no way he was ever going to get my VERY important message to my birth mom, Lori. Then, the wind changed directions when I got a Facebook friend request from a woman named Lori. Born on the exact day as my Birth Mom. Coincidence? I think not!

My co-workers can attest to the level of anxiety I was feeling at this very moment. I couldn't think. I couldn't move. Was it really her?! I had a surge of emotions hit me, as I just sat there staring at the computer screen. I hit "accept," for that was all that I really could do. Then, the only thing I could think of next was to tell my Mom of this exciting news. However, a phone call wouldn't suffice. I dropped everything, in the middle of my shift, and ran out the door. My sweet friends at work offered to drive me home because I seriously was in no state to think properly. I declined, took a deep breath and got in my car, where I proceeded to speed... uh, I mean, drive very safely home :) 

I walked in the back door and shouted for my Mom to come quick. Grabbed my laptop. And opened to that very important Facebook page. We both just sat there in awe, completely shocked at how quick this had all come together. Only this time around, as I studied her profile page, I noticed something new. She had, in fact, sent me a message. My birth Mother, Lori, had sent me this message:

"Hi Lauren,
My name is Lori and I heard just this morning from a friend that perhaps you might be looking for me. I am living in Edmonton, Alberta now, but in April of 1993 I went from Dartmouth, Nova Scotia to Salt Lake City to be with friends and family while I had my baby. It's a very long story as I'm sure you can realize, however I believe you are that beautiful little girl (now young women) I gave birth to. "

Could this be real? I continued to read on some more. 

"I have read your poems and your stories about your family and I can tell that you are very happy, and have been very loved, and I am so very grateful to hear that. I have just joined Facebook (I'm a late joiner) today so I could send you this message and sending a message this way is new to me.

You have always been in my heart and my thoughts Lauren and I always wondered and hoped that this day would come.

Lori"

She then proceeded to leave me her phone number and email address in hopes that I'd choose to get in contact with her, which, of course, was a no brainer on my end. Friends, family, strangers reading my blog, at this moment I was feeling, yet again, an emotion that is indescribable. First, I'd felt it the moment I first talked to Blair, and now, here I was, feeling it again. I was reading words from a woman that I'd never met. A person that, somehow, could be a complete stranger and an very important part of my life at the same time. The only words I could get my fingers to type back were... "Is it really you?"

It was really her. 

We messaged each other back and forth that night, both of us very emotional, as you can imagine. I eventually had to head back to work, but gave her my cell phone and told her to call whenever she was ready. After all, I was a seasoned professional when it came to the first contact with a biological parent. 

After I finished what seemed to be a very long shift at work, we had worked it out that I would call her as soon as I was done. I got in my car. Drove to a quiet spot. Took that deep breath that I take before I make important calls. And I dialed the number. This was a VERY important phone call. I shook as the line rang.

Then, she answered. 

Much like the first time I spoke with Blair, she was very emotional, as was I. I barely remember all that was said in our first conversation, because my head was a spinning mess. Just the basic stuff asking if I'm ok, if i'm well... questions you might ask someone you haven't seen in 19 years. She was happy to see that I was happy, and had grown up into healthy young lady. I was curious to know how she came to find me, and was excited to hear HER end of the story. 

So, let's go back to that awkward moment when I called that stranger in British Columbia. After I got off the phone with him, he called his brother, Jeff, to tell him of the events that had happened. Lori and Jeff had been divorced for quite some time, but he knew that this was something Lori needed to know. So, as we live in an incredible era, he shot her a text that said something along the lines of, "My brother called me about Utah. Call me when you can." Lori called him, and he relayed the message.... ya know, that message that I left with the brother that I was CERTAIN would never get to the person I needed it to get to? Yes. Well I'd like to publicly thank that brother for pulling through for me.

Anyway, after Lori spoke to her ex-husband, she got on the phone with the attorney who was over my adoption so many years ago. Ralph is his name. She wanted to be sure it really was me, and not some crazy loon. Ralph assured her that it was, in fact, me. This sent Lori into a mess of emotion that day, and she hopped on her computer and created a Facebook account so she could see picture of me, and most importantly, send me that fateful message. 

Lori and I talked for quite a bit. She let me know that she was now living in Edmonton, Alberta, almost directly above us here in Utah. She had re-married to a good man named John, and was doing well.

She then apologized. She apologized for giving me up, letting me know that she was going through a hard time back when I was born and made the decision to give me up because she knew it was what was best for me. Lori then said something that has rang through my heart over and over again since that night. Something that touched me in an incredibly heart-warming way. She said something along the lines of this, 

"After I gave birth to you, they had asked if I wanted to see you. I was hesitant at first, but after some thought, decided that I did want to. They placed you in my arms, and I sat there, holding you. Just looking at my beautiful baby. I did what all new mothers do... I counted your toes and fingers to make sure you had 10 of each. Then, I kissed you, and told you how much I loved you. I wished you well, and told you to live a happy, amazing life. I also reminded you that I would ALWAYS be there for you, and that there wouldn't be a day that I didn't think of you.

As I was leaving the hospital the day after I had you, I heard your family picking you up. What a party! I have never heard so many people in one place laughing, crying, hugging each other. It was right at that very moment that I knew you were going to be ok. That I was doing what was best for you, and that you were going to an incredible family who would, in fact, love you as much as I did."

That was right about when I lost it. I knew I had an amazing family here in Utah, but to hear that kind of confirmation from the woman who gave birth to me was an incredible feeling. And, knowing my family, there isn't a doubt in my mind that they did have a giant celebration there in the hospital to welcome me into the world.. that's how they are. Both my Mom and Dad's side are of the utmost love and kindness, and the day they picked me up they were simply being their happy, loving selves. Little did they know, at the time, that their excitement and happiness that day was the exact thing Lori needed to feel comfort that I was going somewhere I was meant to be. This was no accident. 

The Lord works in mysterious ways. At the time of my birth, I was born to Blair and Lori LeBlanc, who, at the time, knew that staying with them wasn't in my best interest. And as much they loved and wanted me in THEIR lives, they went through with one of the most selfless acts known to man; They gave up their baby to another family who also desperately needed to have me in their lives. And now, after 19 years of being with an incredible family, I have been able to find, meet, and get to know the family that gave me away. How lucky am I to have SOOO many families, and SOO many people that love me to no end?!! Well, let me tell you, I am incredibly blessed. The Lord had his hand in my life, no doubt about it, and what an incredible testament to me to see how amazing my story truly is.

Since that amazing day in May, I have spent the last few months getting to know Lori, the mother that gave birth to me. The love she has shown me is overwhelming in a very good way, and I have been spoiled with phone calls, packages, and letters. On the other hand, I have to thank my incredible Utah family for their support. My own Mother has stood by my side through both the good and bad times of this journey, and I have loved knowing that I can talk with her about anything on my mind. For the most part, my story has been a thrilling one. One with ups and downs, but in the end, a story that has shown me what it means to love someone so much that they are willing to give them away.. to give them a better life. I also know what it means to love someone like they're your own flesh and blood. I literally have the best of both worlds, and wouldn't trade it for anything. I have enough room in my heart to fit in ALLLLLL my family; something that I am more than happy to do.

I am pleased to announce that Lori will be traveling to Utah this October to meet me and to see where I grew up. Not only that, but she gets to meet that very loud, fun-loving family that picked me up at the hospital so many years ago. I am extremely nervous for October 19th. I won't lie. But I have faith that it will all work out. I know very well by now that Heavenly Father has my best interest at heart, and just as he has taken care of me for the past 19 and half years, he will watch over me as Lori and her husband John journey to Utah. Much like my journey to Cape Breton, I bet she has the same anxiety as I once did. But this is a once in a life time opportunity... One that I am absolutely THRILLED to be a part of. 

In 19 days I will meet, person to person, the woman that gave birth to me. 

I will be meeting my birth mom for the first time in my life.

I will be meeting the beautiful Lori. 

Well that's the end of my Story... Oh WAIT! No it's not :) I am now in the process of finding my older sister, Ashley. With the help of Lori and her family, I hope that someday, in the near future, I will be able to finally put the last piece of my puzzle in place. I hope to find Ashley, and pray that my experience with her will go as well as my story has up 'till now. I have incredible faith that I will find her. I also would like to remind myself that everything happening up till now has been no accident, and that if finding Ashley is meant to happen in this lifetime, that it will. What's meant to be will ALWAYS find a way, and until that moment, I am constantly praying for my dear sister wherever she may be. 

Thanks again for reading up on my blog. It's been an honor to write my story... a story that most definitely needed to be told. 

Join us next time as I tell you all of my experience meeting Lori. 

Until then,

Peace and Blessings,

Lauren :)

My Story. Part 4.

PART 4

Calling Strangers

Hello everyone! Long time no talk to. I hope you've all been well! First off, I'd like to thank everyone for being so incredibly supportive of me and my decision to get to know my biological family. I honestly could not have done all of this if it weren't for incredibly family and friends like you. Thank you.

My trip to Cape Breton was indescribable. I couldn't of asked for it to go better, and still, many months later, the love of my father's family holds strongly onto my heart. Not a day goes by that I don't think about them, pray for them, and miss them incredibly. Love to you all, for you are all very much a part of me, and you are stuck with me for... well, forever. Thanks again, one million times over.

A great trip to a beautiful land to meet an amazing family would seem like the perfect end to any old story. However, this is not the case, because another wonderful piece of the puzzle has taken it's place. Not only did I find my biological father, Blair, a year and a half ago, but on May 9, 2012, I was extremely blessed to have found my birthmother, Lori. 

Now, in my previous posts I caught you up on the basic story of my adoption, not that there's anything basic about it, haha, but you get the idea. I've mentioned before that all my life I had a desire in me to find my birth mom. I'd never really considered the idea of finding my biological Dad... I just sort of figured I wouldn't be able to, and that was ok. However, there was something strong inside of me that just pushed the curiosity of my birth mom to become greater with each new day. I wanted to know her. I HAD to know her. And so i counted down the days to my 18th birthday.. hoping and praying that THAT would be the day I found her. That would be the day that a life long dream of mine would come true.

Unfortunately, that was not the case. On the day of my 18th birthday, I was extremely grateful to find my aunt Patsy, and contact my father Blair... a moment that most definitely sparked a life long relationship. It was an amazing experience. But, I still couldn't shake the yearning deep within me to know the woman that gave life to me. I pushed it aside in my mind, and focused my time and energy on Blair and his family, and was happy and content. Soon the overwhelming excitement of my new found family began to die down, and I felt my curiosity begin to creep back into my everyday thoughts. It was time to get serious about finding birth mother. 

I didn't have much information on her. I had a paper telling me her height, and hair color... but obviously that wasn't any information that would help me find her. I had her maiden name. Her brother's name. And her hometown. It was almost like putting together a 500 piece puzzle, but only have 100 pieces to work with... aka... I was stuck. However, I am a pretty "go-get-em" kind of person when I set my mind to something, so I took to the internet (a familiar source for me,) and searched. And searched. And SEARCHED! Only to turn up nothing. Then, my Aunt Patsy (Seriously, what would I do without this woman,) gave me something that had randomly fallen out of a book she had. It was Lori's birth certificate. Patsy wasn't sure why she had it, or why it had just HAPPENED to appear out of no where... but it was, in fact, the next step I needed to finding my very own birth mother. 

I don't know why I hadn't thought of it before, but I immediately typed in Lori's name, and birth date which is September 26, 1968... and bam. The first thing to come up on my computer was, in fact, my own flesh and blood Mother. She had re-married twice since my birth which explained why her maiden name hadn't brought up much. The site I found her on was a family history site linked to the first of the two husbands, Jeff, (I didn't know of the second husband. yet.) On this site it had her name, the husbands name, and the fact that they were living in British Columbia.

It took a lot of searching in various BC phonebooks, looking for the husbands name. I didn't quite know what I was going to say when I called them... but I had to try. 

I found what I figured had to be them. I got my bearings together. I went somewhere quiet. Took a giant deep breath. And Called.

"Sorry you have reached a non-working number."

WHAT?!?!?!?! That HAD to be them. It just HAD to. Of COURSE I got a non-working number. Urgh. The frustration was starting to set in. It was ok, though, there was still time to try. 

I looked in the phone book for the same last name in the surrounding area ( I was looking at the husband's last name, mind you,) and came across what I figured to be his brother. Now, remember how I said that when I put my mind to something, I work to no end to succeed? Well, my mind was telling me that, Hey, maybe if I call his brother and ask for Jeff ( her then husband,) the brother would just figure I'd got the wrong one in the phone book and re-direct me to the right phone number. Seemed like a great plan in my head. However, this brother was not that simple about it. 

So, yet again, I gathered myself together, and called this brother. He answered. I asked, "Is Jeff or Lori there?" And he replied with, "Well.. Why are you calling my house?" I simply said, "Oh. Sorry, I was looking for their number and must of called the wrong one. Do you happen to have a number for them?" I was starting to get a bit desperate at this point. My plan was not quite going like I'd planned. This brother was very questioning of my call, "Well... What's your business with Jeff and Lori?" 

Ok. Really? This was not the time for me to go into the depths of my story (It's taken four pages on blog, for heavens sakes!) Sooo, shaking, I said," Oh, I'm just an old friend of theirs, trying to get in touch." This guy was not going along with my plan. He sighed, "Well, I'll take a message and see if I can get it to them I guess..." So he put me on hold for a minute, went to go get a paper, and took down my name and number. It then hit me. Neither Jeff or Lori would know who the heck I was! Some random chicka from Utah creeping on all sorts of family up there? They'd think I was a nut job and never call me back. So I decided to drop "the bomb" on this poor brother I was giving a hard time.

"Will you please tell them it's important they call me back?"

"Why is that?"

"Well, you know Lori? She's my mother."

*Awkward silence*

"How could she be your mother if she can't have kids?"

Shoot! This just got real awkward. So let's rewind a bit. Before I was even born, my birth mom had a partial hysterectomy and was told she couldn't have kids... which means I was totally a miracle child, thank you very much. Anyway, right after she had me, she had a surgery to make it so she couldn't have anymore kids. Annnnd back to the story.

"About that... She had me BEFORE she couldn't have kids..."

This guy was seriously giving me nothing to work with. He seemed very annoyed that this strange girl from Utah was calling him about his brothers (ex) wife. "...Ok... Well I'll let them know. Bye."

Yeah right. There was no way in HECK that he was going to let them know. I'd pretty much given up hope at this time. Not only did I fail in my attempt to contact my birth mother, finally. But I'd made a fool of myself to some random guy in Canada. Oh well. It was worth a try. 

The day went on. Then the next. Then the next. There I was at work, May 9th 2012. I was "working" super duper hard... aka... staring at Facebook, laughing with my co-workers. When I got a notification.

I had a new friend request. From someone named Lori Waye. Born on September 26, 1968.

The first (current) picture I ever saw of my birth mother, Lori, on that fateful night.

19 years of searching had suddenly come to a stop. 

To be continued :)