My Story. Part 4.

PART 4

Calling Strangers

Hello everyone! Long time no talk to. I hope you've all been well! First off, I'd like to thank everyone for being so incredibly supportive of me and my decision to get to know my biological family. I honestly could not have done all of this if it weren't for incredibly family and friends like you. Thank you.

My trip to Cape Breton was indescribable. I couldn't of asked for it to go better, and still, many months later, the love of my father's family holds strongly onto my heart. Not a day goes by that I don't think about them, pray for them, and miss them incredibly. Love to you all, for you are all very much a part of me, and you are stuck with me for... well, forever. Thanks again, one million times over.

A great trip to a beautiful land to meet an amazing family would seem like the perfect end to any old story. However, this is not the case, because another wonderful piece of the puzzle has taken it's place. Not only did I find my biological father, Blair, a year and a half ago, but on May 9, 2012, I was extremely blessed to have found my birthmother, Lori. 

Now, in my previous posts I caught you up on the basic story of my adoption, not that there's anything basic about it, haha, but you get the idea. I've mentioned before that all my life I had a desire in me to find my birth mom. I'd never really considered the idea of finding my biological Dad... I just sort of figured I wouldn't be able to, and that was ok. However, there was something strong inside of me that just pushed the curiosity of my birth mom to become greater with each new day. I wanted to know her. I HAD to know her. And so i counted down the days to my 18th birthday.. hoping and praying that THAT would be the day I found her. That would be the day that a life long dream of mine would come true.

Unfortunately, that was not the case. On the day of my 18th birthday, I was extremely grateful to find my aunt Patsy, and contact my father Blair... a moment that most definitely sparked a life long relationship. It was an amazing experience. But, I still couldn't shake the yearning deep within me to know the woman that gave life to me. I pushed it aside in my mind, and focused my time and energy on Blair and his family, and was happy and content. Soon the overwhelming excitement of my new found family began to die down, and I felt my curiosity begin to creep back into my everyday thoughts. It was time to get serious about finding birth mother. 

I didn't have much information on her. I had a paper telling me her height, and hair color... but obviously that wasn't any information that would help me find her. I had her maiden name. Her brother's name. And her hometown. It was almost like putting together a 500 piece puzzle, but only have 100 pieces to work with... aka... I was stuck. However, I am a pretty "go-get-em" kind of person when I set my mind to something, so I took to the internet (a familiar source for me,) and searched. And searched. And SEARCHED! Only to turn up nothing. Then, my Aunt Patsy (Seriously, what would I do without this woman,) gave me something that had randomly fallen out of a book she had. It was Lori's birth certificate. Patsy wasn't sure why she had it, or why it had just HAPPENED to appear out of no where... but it was, in fact, the next step I needed to finding my very own birth mother. 

I don't know why I hadn't thought of it before, but I immediately typed in Lori's name, and birth date which is September 26, 1968... and bam. The first thing to come up on my computer was, in fact, my own flesh and blood Mother. She had re-married twice since my birth which explained why her maiden name hadn't brought up much. The site I found her on was a family history site linked to the first of the two husbands, Jeff, (I didn't know of the second husband. yet.) On this site it had her name, the husbands name, and the fact that they were living in British Columbia.

It took a lot of searching in various BC phonebooks, looking for the husbands name. I didn't quite know what I was going to say when I called them... but I had to try. 

I found what I figured had to be them. I got my bearings together. I went somewhere quiet. Took a giant deep breath. And Called.

"Sorry you have reached a non-working number."

WHAT?!?!?!?! That HAD to be them. It just HAD to. Of COURSE I got a non-working number. Urgh. The frustration was starting to set in. It was ok, though, there was still time to try. 

I looked in the phone book for the same last name in the surrounding area ( I was looking at the husband's last name, mind you,) and came across what I figured to be his brother. Now, remember how I said that when I put my mind to something, I work to no end to succeed? Well, my mind was telling me that, Hey, maybe if I call his brother and ask for Jeff ( her then husband,) the brother would just figure I'd got the wrong one in the phone book and re-direct me to the right phone number. Seemed like a great plan in my head. However, this brother was not that simple about it. 

So, yet again, I gathered myself together, and called this brother. He answered. I asked, "Is Jeff or Lori there?" And he replied with, "Well.. Why are you calling my house?" I simply said, "Oh. Sorry, I was looking for their number and must of called the wrong one. Do you happen to have a number for them?" I was starting to get a bit desperate at this point. My plan was not quite going like I'd planned. This brother was very questioning of my call, "Well... What's your business with Jeff and Lori?" 

Ok. Really? This was not the time for me to go into the depths of my story (It's taken four pages on blog, for heavens sakes!) Sooo, shaking, I said," Oh, I'm just an old friend of theirs, trying to get in touch." This guy was not going along with my plan. He sighed, "Well, I'll take a message and see if I can get it to them I guess..." So he put me on hold for a minute, went to go get a paper, and took down my name and number. It then hit me. Neither Jeff or Lori would know who the heck I was! Some random chicka from Utah creeping on all sorts of family up there? They'd think I was a nut job and never call me back. So I decided to drop "the bomb" on this poor brother I was giving a hard time.

"Will you please tell them it's important they call me back?"

"Why is that?"

"Well, you know Lori? She's my mother."

*Awkward silence*

"How could she be your mother if she can't have kids?"

Shoot! This just got real awkward. So let's rewind a bit. Before I was even born, my birth mom had a partial hysterectomy and was told she couldn't have kids... which means I was totally a miracle child, thank you very much. Anyway, right after she had me, she had a surgery to make it so she couldn't have anymore kids. Annnnd back to the story.

"About that... She had me BEFORE she couldn't have kids..."

This guy was seriously giving me nothing to work with. He seemed very annoyed that this strange girl from Utah was calling him about his brothers (ex) wife. "...Ok... Well I'll let them know. Bye."

Yeah right. There was no way in HECK that he was going to let them know. I'd pretty much given up hope at this time. Not only did I fail in my attempt to contact my birth mother, finally. But I'd made a fool of myself to some random guy in Canada. Oh well. It was worth a try. 

The day went on. Then the next. Then the next. There I was at work, May 9th 2012. I was "working" super duper hard... aka... staring at Facebook, laughing with my co-workers. When I got a notification.

I had a new friend request. From someone named Lori Waye. Born on September 26, 1968.

The first (current) picture I ever saw of my birth mother, Lori, on that fateful night.

19 years of searching had suddenly come to a stop. 

To be continued :)