My family, extended and otherwise, gathered in our basement for our own personal premier of Treasure In Heaven; The John Tanner story that had just come out on DVD. We all watched intently, and at the end of the film, my Dad got up to explain that we were direct descendants of John Tanner. What did that mean for us? Well, as we all know, John Tanner helped the growth of the church with enormous financial contributions, and in return, Joseph Smith wrote him a note of debt for the money. In a later exchange between Joseph Smith and John Tanner, regarding the note, John ripped it up, expressing that his gratitude for the Gospel was settlement enough. With tears in his eyes, Joseph placed his hand on John’s shoulder, and blessed him that his “children shall never beg bread.”
Dad then looked at each of us, and expressed how, because we are children of John Tanner, that if we live worthy, we, too, will never beg bread. We would never go hungry.
The timing of this experience came at a time of personal strife in my 18 year old mind, for I had just had the once in a life time opportunity of finding my birth parents. I’d always known I was adopted, and always knew that when I was old enough I would want to find them. Finding them came easy. Dealing with the emotions that followed became an internal investigation.
The questions that came with this new found reality seemed to take over my every thought. Why was I put up for adoption? Why didn’t my Mother want to keep me? Why was I placed with the family I was? Who was I truly part of.. those that shared my blood, or those who spent the last 18 years raising and outwardly loving me? I had so many questions, so many emotions, and so much weight on my heart.
For whatever reason, I had waited to get my Patriarchal Blessing until I was a little older than most of my peers. However, I decided it was time, as I felt ready for guidance. It was a beautiful Spring, Sunday morning when my parents and myself made our way to the home of the Patriarch. The four of us spoke briefly before he placed his hands on my head and began to give me my blessing.
Much like other Patriarchal Blessings, I was told of my heritage, and promised blessings I would enjoy if I were to remain faithful and worthy. It would seem the blessing was coming to an end, but then the Patriarch paused for several moments. He then said these exact words;
“Lauren, you will never beg for bread. You and your family will never go hungry.”
My eyes filled with tears as all the weight was lifted from my heart, and a deep peace settled within me. While the blood I shared with my biological parents was important, the sealing to my adoptive parents was absolutely concrete, and the fact that our Patriarch, who had just met me, was inspired to pronounce the exact same words of the Tanner blessing onto my head, solidifed that even more.
I am where i’m supposed to be. My family’s history is MY history, for a sealing in the Temple of the Lord is as thick as, if not thicker, than blood.
Sincerely,
Lauren Jayne Loock
#SpiritualSunday
No comments:
Post a Comment