Monday, October 6, 2014

The Stranger Snuggle

I realize that I should probably change the name of my blog to "loockinoutforplanes" because, as it turns out, that's all I talk about anymore. But! I have an aviation adventure too hilariously awkward to not share. Also, look for the double post on here, because I plan to report on Canada, as well.

Back to the skies!

As I earlier mentioned, the flights to Canada were flawless... annnnd that's mostly due to the fact that I was well passed out through all of them. Drugs are a beautiful thing. Ummm, drugs prescribed by a doctor... and the right dosage.... i'm not in the business of promoting dangerous pill popping habits... and moving on. Well, the flights home weren't quite as smooth. Starting in Halifax, our flight was delayed, which when depending on, not one, but two following connections isn't the best way to start our travel day. I took my magical flying medication as we went through security (like I always do,) but, to my dismay, it began to wear off by the time we actually boarded that flying machine. I decided not to take another one, because I needed to be alert due to the fact that we would be booking it through LaGuardia to our next flight. That is, if they HAD a flight. There was a nasty rumor going around that we might possibly have to take a shuttle through New York, to JFK, in hopes to catch a different flight to Atlanta. Ok fine! If fate wants me in New York, I'll just stay! ;)

Yeah. I'd say it was crucial I was well alert for that possibility.

Made it to LGA, and booked it to a completely different gate because our flight to Atlanta was boarding! Lucky for my Aunt and I. It could have been boarded, airborne, and in full cabin service with our luck of the day. Before long, we were in the air headed down south to Georgia. I sat and tapped the armrests, anxiously wanting for the flight attendants to get my ginger ale so that I could down another magic pill. Well, it seemed that they were taking their sweet time getting to our section, so I decided, then and there, that i'd gotten this far, and if I could make it to Atlanta, I would pop two magic plane pills and sleep through our longest of the flights, home to SLC.

Thanks to an inflight showing of Frozen, I "let it go," and "built a snowman" of peace in my brain. (See what I did there?)

With all the delays thus far, I was certain we'd be flying (ha, pun) through the Atlanta airport to catch the next plane as we had done before. Aw, however, much to our surprise, we hurried off the plane, only to find that we had just exited the exact aircraft set to head to SLC. That just happened to be a bonus, because it was a super nice, new plane. I grabbed a banana, popped two magic pills, and boarded the flight.

Here is where the fun begins. 

Now, the Atlanta flight was quite full, as it was heading TO Canada, and my Aunt, Patsy, and I were not able to sit next to each other. I took my seat next to the window, an older business-looking gentleman occupied the isle seat, and the middle sat empty for a number of minutes. I was thrilled at the idea that I could possibly sprawl into that space. Just as I had that thought, though, a young man, probably about late 20's ushered his way into the middle seat. He was a tall guy, built, complete with flip-flops, shaggy hair, shaggy beard, and just the most pleasant disposition.

I could feel my eyelids grow heavier as I listened to all the plane preparations. As I just about drifted away to a land far away from plane land, this young man reached out his hand to me and said, "Hi! I'm Andrew!"

I shook myself awake enough to shake his hand, and respond with my name. He began to try to chat me up, but I decided to stop him midway, and let him know of my... umm... current condition.

"Listen, pal, I've gotta be honest with you. I'm usually a very friendly person, but flying is my least favorite thing to do, and I'm pretty drugged up at the moment. I'm more than likely going to crash any minute now. Don't take it personally."

He replied, "did you say drugged? Oh, well, I'm a little bit drunk right now, so no worries. Haha!" I'm almost positive he was just trying to be funny, but then again, in the state I was in...  I could've been talking to a unicorn with a beard for all I knew. Either way, we were a promising pair.

The plane started revving up, and we began that death cruise down the runway. I ultimately have to go into my bubble for this part, and to see me would be to see a 21 year old woman white-knuckling the armrests, with her eyes clenched tighter than an Asian's.  (That's not racist. I love Asian people.) So, there I am, preparing for my certain death, when I feel a warm hand grab mind... fingers laced through mine and everything. I squinted one eye open, and sure enough, that bearded unicorn was holding my hand. No hesitation, whatsoever, he just held my hand as though we'd been holding hands for years.

I found it very sweet. I opened my mouth to say thank you, but, instead, fell into a deep sleep. Out. Cold. Now, before we had taken off, I asked him if he would kindly wake me up as the drinks came around, because... free drinks and pretzels. Sure enough, I felt a soft touch on my shoulder, "Lauren. Lauren, what do you want to drink?" I sleep-ordered me my cranberry juice, like the old woman I am, wolfed it down, and took off to my happy place, yet again.

After an hour or so, I was jolted awake by some turbulence, only to find that this kind, hand-holding gentleman had cleared away my garbage, and but my tray table up for me. I uttered out a thank you before dozing off.... again. Those magic plane pills + lack of sleep + middle of the night = a practically comatose Lauren. I continued to sleep for an unknown amount of time, when, again, I was awakened by those speed bumps in the sky (turbulence.) Only, this time, I didn't wake up with my head against the cold window like usual.

I woke up nestled on the shoulder of my new best friend. He had his hand on my knee, as though we were in love, and my arms were wrapped tightly around his without the slightest hesitation. Ummm. Well..... I wiped the drool from my mouth, and shot upright, quickly apologizing for nestling on top of him... a complete stranger. Wow. I didn't know whether to be embarrassed, or write a book on how to pick up guys in an airplane. Either way, he turned to me with a grin and said, "Oh, it's ok. I put your head on my shoulder."

Oh great. I wonder how many times my lifeless head bobbled helplessly before he had to grab it.

Well! I was wide awake now. I mean, after all, I had just had a full out snuggle session with a complete stranger somewhere over the midwest. Check that one off the bucket list! Also, best nap of my life! He and I chatted some more before we started our descent into Salt Lake. Again, I clenched my seat, closed my eyes, and started wishing I HAD packed my parachute. The ground got closer. Aw, but have no fear, because by this time it was no surprise he decided to grab my hand. I mean, to any passer by, we looked like we were practically engaged. I conceded and grabbed his hand back this time, and the wheels hit the ground... like they do.

We gathered our stuff, exited the airplane, and made our way to the baggage claim. There, he grabbed his duffle bag, and I grabbed my closet-in-a-bag. We hugged, I thanked him, again, for being my human pillow, and we went our separate ways.

That was the end of my beautiful, incoherent, almost embarrassing romance in the clouds.

I can't say i'll ever see him again. I can't say I want to. But, I will say this; thank you to my guardian snuggle buddy in the sky! It's nice to know there are still good people in the world who do the right thing... even if the right thing is letting the bizarre girl in sweatpants, with no make-up, and old lady drink choices nap on your shoulder.

Hm. I probably should make sure I sit next to someone I know next time.

Until our next flying adventure!


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