I am Lauren. I am CAMERICAN!

Soooo, I don't know if you guys knew this, or not, but I'm adopted ;) Haha, no, but really. Like mentioned in previous posts, I knew I was adopted my whole life. I also knew I had born and raised, true blooded, great white north Canadian birthparents. I took pride in calling myself Canadian growing up, although, we all know I was actually born in Utah. My family, both biological and adoptive, went to great measures to make sure I was born here in Utah.

I am an American Citizen, and have been my entire life. 

However, still I took the idea of being Canadian to heart, and allowed it to become a part of who I was growing up. If you knew me, even the slightest, you knew I was Canadian. Flags draped my room, I had their anthem memorized by heart, I worked to throw in words like "Eh" and "Aboot," and was always steadfast in cheering for Canada at the Olympic Games. I would stand with pride as they walked in, and belt out the National Anthem with them as gold was won. 

Not everyone loved this about me. Why? Because I was a living, breathing AMERICAN, and had been my whole life. Why was I cheering for another country?

Let me tell you why. 

Before my fateful 18th birthday, I knew little, to none, about my birthparents. Except for 3 words: CA- NA-DA. So, this is what I figure about my admiration and love for a country I'd only ever visited briefly; Canada was my security blanket. Canada was my link to the past, and possibly a link to my future. Canada, although large, housed the people that gave me life! While others looked at me quizzically, wondering what the big deal was.... I looked inwardly and found that loving this country was more than some childish infatuation; It was the reality check that I needed to hold on to, reminding me that I DID have a story, I DID have a past, and I DID have birth parents who loved me... I had Canada. 

Well, now the olympics are just beginning in Sochi, Russia, and i got hit hard by a new found idea:

I can cheer for both countries! Duh!

In the past few years I have been caught in a tidal wave of emotion, stories, meetings, and many more moments of discovering my past; the past that I'd always hoped was BEYOND Canada. My pre-adoption security blanket grew into so much more than JUST a country... and am I ever so glad it did. So, readers, with that, I am now able to, not let go of Canada completely, but come to the realization that I can love two countries equally. These olympics I will be cheering for BOTH my homes. 

I bleed as a Canadian. 

I survive as an American.

 I am... Camerican!